Founder disagreement is one of the top reasons startups fail. Not because the idea was wrong, but because the relationship went wrong.
So, how can you prevent that?
In Episode 106 of Women Disrupting Tech, I speak with Kirsten Heukels. She’s a confidential counselor, mediator, and crisis negotiator. With 25 years of experience helping people navigate conflict, trust, and pressure, she brings rare insights into what really drives behavior in teams and leadership.
Key Takeaways from episode 106
Whether you’re building a team, backing one, or navigating your own growth, this episode will change how you think about communication, culture, and inclusion.
To learn how to decode human behavior in the workplace, find episode 106 of Women Disrupting Tech on Spotify, Apple, or YouTube.
Or hit the play button below👇.
Decoding Human Behavior in the Workplace with Kirsten Heukels | Episode 106 – Women Disrupting Tech
- Key Takeaways from episode 106
- Inclusive Events for Women Disrupting Tech
- Join the Women Disrupting Tech Community on Substack
- The Magic in This Episode🪄
- 🤔 Your Turn: A Question for You
- Amplify the Voices of Women Disrupting Tech
- 3 Practical Takeaways for Startup Founders
- About Kirsten Heukels
- About 1for2 Social Innovation
- Share what’s on your mind!
- Coming up on Women Disrupting Tech
Inclusive Events for Women Disrupting Tech
Below are some events worth visiting in the coming months. You’ll find a full overview of all events, including links to buy tickets, on the events page.
TNW Conference:
Date: 19 and 20 June 2025
Location: NDSM, Amsterdam
Time: 12:00 – 17:00 hours
Tickets: On TNW Website
Founders Beach Series | Edition 2: Feel the Brand, Lead the Future
Date: 3 July 2025
Location: Mango’s Beach Bar, Zandvoort
Time: 15:00 – 22:00 hours
Tickets: On Luma
Founders Beach Series | Edition 3: Tech & Soul
Date: 11 September 2025
Location: Mango’s Beach Bar, Zandvoort
Time: 15:00 – 22:00 hours
Tickets: On Luma
Join the Women Disrupting Tech Community on Substack
Changing the funding landscape starts with access. Not just to capital, but to the right people, ideas, and spaces. That’s why I’m building The Women Disrupting Tech Community on Substack.
Join us if you want to help more women be heard, funded, and celebrated in tech. You’ll receive:
✨ Early access to new podcast episodes, plus a weekly email with the moments that moved me and what they taught me.
✨ Exclusive research on what it really takes to build a more inclusive tech ecosystem.
✨ Invites to special events we sponsor or co-host, where conversations turn into collaborations.
This community is for people who believe in action. And know that together, our voices go further.
The Magic in This Episode🪄
Oh wow, where do I start… Let me just give you three magical quotes that define our conversation.
🧬 “Every person’s perception is as unique as their DNA.”
Kirsten breaks down communication to its core truth: no two people experience the world in the same way. This simple idea has massive implications for founders, especially when building teams, resolving conflict, or aligning on the mission. Shared language doesn’t mean shared meaning. If you’re not asking clarifying questions, you’re probably assuming too much. And you know what they say about assuming…
🤝 “Empathy can lead to exclusion.”
This will sound counterintuitive. But Kirsten explains that we naturally empathize with people who remind us of ourselves, which can quietly reinforce sameness. In hiring, decision-making, and even social moments, unchecked empathy can become a bias. For startup teams trying to innovate, this is a warning: familiarity feels good. Difference makes you grow.
⏳ “If nobody’s dying and nothing’s on fire, you have time.”
A mantra for high-pressure environments. Founders are often told to move fast, be decisive, and act with urgency. But not every moment is a crisis. Kirsten’s reminder is about intentionality. Leadership isn’t about reacting quickly. It’s about responding wisely. Slowing down might just be your most strategic move.
Want to hear more magic from the episode? Tune into Episode 106 on Spotify.
Oh, and don’t forget to tell me what your highlight of the episode is in the comments.
🤔 Your Turn: A Question for You
What’s one conversation you’ve been avoiding in your team — and what might happen if you finally had it?
Let me know in the comments or message me directly. I’d love to hear what you take from this episode.
Amplify the Voices of Women Disrupting Tech
Want to make inclusion in tech the new normal by 2032? Here’s how you can help:
Amplify the voices of Women Disrupting Tech by following the podcast on your favorite platform. Every follow brings these stories to more people.
Give the show a rating or review on Spotify or Apple. It only takes a moment, but it tells others this podcast is worth listening to. And helps the voices of my guests carry further.
Share the stories that move you.
Send this episode to a friend, a colleague, or someone who needs to hear it. Every share helps the Women Disrupting Tech build a more inclusive tech future and supports women in getting the stage they deserve.
Use the buttons below to spread the word. Your voice helps amplify theirs.
3 Practical Takeaways for Startup Founders
Talking about trust and behavior is one thing, but how do you make it real? Here’s where to start.
1. Understand Your Own Default Reactions Before Leading Others
Kirsten explains that we all have a go-to survival response: fight, flight, or freeze. Founders under pressure often default without realizing it: raising their voice, withdrawing, or stalling decisions. But real leadership means pausing long enough to choose your response intentionally.
Tip: Ask yourself: What’s my default in conflict? And is it helping or hurting my team?
2. Lead Across Generations with Trust, Not Assumptions
With four generations in the workplace, leadership is no longer about seniority. It’s about adaptability. Younger team members may ask “why?” more often. That’s not resistance. It’s engagement.
Tip for experienced leaders: Don’t try to correct younger team members. Try to understand what drives them. Trust grows when people get space to reach shared goals in their own way.
3. Culture starts at the top and comes to life in everyday conversations
Kirsten is clear: culture is top-down. Founders and senior leaders set the tone by what they reward, tolerate, and model. But culture doesn’t stick because of values on a wall. It sticks when people feel it in daily conversations, in how leaders listen, give feedback, or handle disagreement.
Tip: Start by asking yourself: Are you walking the talk in a way your team can feel?
Curious how these ideas play out in real teams under pressure? Hear the full story and more from Kirsten Heukels on Women Disrupting Tech, now on Apple Podcasts.
Or click the image below to listen on YouTube. And don’t forget to share what your biggest learning from the episode was in the comments.
“…trying to understand another human being is, I think, one of the most difficult things there is.”
Kirsten Heukels, Founder 1for2 Social Innovation
About Kirsten Heukels
Kirsten Heukels is a seasoned professional with 25 years of experience, heading three companies specializing in training and coaching, confidential counseling for organizations, and crisis and hostage negotiation, which includes kinesic interrogation and interviewing.
With her company, 1for2 Social Innovation, Kirsten leads a team of specialists committed to building psychological safety, trust, and resilience in organizations.
You can connect with Kirsten on LinkedIn or via the company website. And you can read this article in The Athletic to learn more about the work she did for Manchester United.
About 1for2 Social Innovation
1for2 Social Innovation offers tailored services, including confidential counseling, whistleblower support, profiling, training, mediation, and crisis negotiation.
Based in Rotterdam and active across international markets, 1for2 Innovation serves a diverse client base, from scale-ups to global institutions, strengthening workplace well-being, integrity, and inclusive culture.
To learn more, you can visit the company website or follow 1for2 Social Innovation on LinkedIn.
Share what’s on your mind!
What’s one thing you’ve learned the hard way about building trust in a team? Let me know your trust-building learning and strategies in the comments.
And if you would like to suggest a guest or a theme for the podcast, please let me know via email or send a DM on LinkedIn.
Coming up on Women Disrupting Tech
Next week, we’ll discover how volunteering can help you be more productive, happy and healthy. Karlijn L’Ortye shares how she’s building a platform where you can find the volunteering gig that is right for you.
He’s a clip to warm you up.
So stay tuned for more.
And until the next episode, stay curious and Keep Being Awesome!
Women Disrupting Tech | The Podcast 
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